When you’re aware the world is a puppet show, you can become a puppeteer

But this awareness comes with a great responsibility. Schermafbeelding 2013-07-18 om 15.20.31

Everyone is constantly creating his own reality.

The fact is, it’s the only way we can perceive the world. So based on our past experiences (good or bad) we define for ourselves what is real, or what we want to be real.

This self-defined reality also creates a shield, because when something ‘unwanted’ outside this self-defined reality interferes, we have the tendency to ‘create’ it away.

In other words, we re-define this new outside ‘thing’, based on the reality we know, want and prefer. Every one of us. And that is why we defend our believes and the things we think. It is hard to accept ‘new’ things when it doesn’t fit our personal, trusted reality. It makes us rigid and afraid of change.

In that sense, we are puppets of our past experiences.

We act as a result of these experiences. The good ones and the bad ones. And the older we get, the more rigid we become.

Rigid as a result of prejudices, of conventions, of expectations, of patterns, of suffering, of happiness, of joy, of frustration. Knowing this, changes everything. The way we create our own reality but especially the reality for other people….

For example, if some one is using your creative idea to make himself look better, what would you do?

Normally I would say something about it to that person, but now I realize, this person needs my idea to create a better reality for himself. That is fantastic*! I am proud of the fact I can be part of the creation of his reality.

In a way, all my reactions create a new reality for others. When I’m laughing hard, when I give a compliment, when I am upset or angry or when I am happy.

My reactions are part of the creation of the reality of others and that’s a big responsibility.

For a period of time I’ve been looking at myself and try to figure out why I react the way I do and why I did it and was more and more focusing on how I could change that.

And as with everything, the realization of things is only the beginning, practice turns it into a brain pattern and into a habit. So here are a few pointers:

  1. Ask more questions, because people like to talk about themselves and find that the best conversation. Not you talking to them.
  2. Listen.
  3. Putting yourself in the mind of the other person (empathy) and try to understand his or her reality (asking questions helps a lot)
  4. Thinking about the possible outcomes or consequences, before acting or re-acting (the more you practice, the faster you see different outcomes, the easier it is to make inspirational choices).
  5. Contemplate about what you’ve experienced.
  6. Move your focus from short term to long term.
  7. Inspire people (yes, that is about story telling). Don’t tell what to do. Create a context in which people can make the (right) decision by themselves.

And remember, the easiest way to feel better when you’re down, is to do something good for some one else. Just try it 😉

-.-

*It is interesting to see what the literal meaning of some words is:

Realize (what you make real)

Fantastic (that what you fantasize from Old French fantastique, via medieval Latin from Greek phantastikos, from phantazein ‘make visible’, phantazesthai ‘have visions, imagine’

Inspire from Old French inspirer, from Latin inspirare ‘breathe or blow into’ from in- ‘into’ + spirare ‘breathe’. The word was originally used of a divine or supernatural being, in the sense ‘impart a truth or idea to someone’.

Grounding

It’s funny how you can live somewhere on the globe and realize or feel, there’s always a small distance between the souls of your shoes and the ground. Like just not connecting. Not that it influences your life or happiness or anything, but you feel the difference when you come home. Your true home.

True home adds an extra layer or an extra level of intense energy to everything you are.

I used to live abroad and now I moved back to The Netherlands and I can tell the difference. It is even stronger when I go back Friesland or Fryslân as it spelled in the Frisian language and the official name since 1996, my true home country.

The Frisian Anthem says it even better then I can:

Frysk bloed tsjoch op! Wol no ris brûze en siede,
En bûnzje troch ús ieren om!
Flean op! Wy sjonge it bêste lân fan d’ierde,
It Fryske lân fol eare en rom.

Chorus:
Klink dan en daverje fier yn it rûn
Dyn âlde eare, o Fryske grûn!

Translated it says:

Frisian blood start moving
Fizz, cook, and bounce through our veins!
Come on! We sing the best country in the world,
The Frisian land full of honor and fame

Chorus:
Sound and thunder far around
Your old honor, o Frisian ground

I love that anthem, but hey, I am prejudiced!
On the other hand it just says exactly what I mean and just to give you the feeling, it is comparable when you com home after being on a 3 week holiday.

But grounding is more than that and I had the privilege of experiencing it. I met the woman of my life. Or better, re-met, because we kind of had a relationship 15 years ago, but we were’t ready for each other.

By chance (and Facebook) we met again and it was BOOM. And now we have a child and a second one coming and just thinking about them makes me so intense happy. True love is very much grounding and then it doesn’t matter where you are.

But because of her and our child I learned a third way of grounding and that sounds pretty simple: Love thyself.

When you don’t love yourself it is very hard to love someone else. Loving yourself is about accepting who you are or change what you don’t like. In an active way, and that starts with thinking. Listening to your thought and not being afraid confronting them. I created an inner voice doing that, with great results.

Anyway, this painting for me is grounding in the pure sense of the word. It hits me right in the triangle under my ribs. Any feeling you have there is about grounding.
Try it, sense it.